we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
