I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
