If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
