just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
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