New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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