You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
