Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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