well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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