i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
dude. I can hear the air.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
