i was born a porn star she said
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize