so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
