i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
