someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
This girl is more easily done than said...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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