Nicole vs. Life
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
