So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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