She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Use "feeling words"
Yay
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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