i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Two words: nipple clamps
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