i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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