i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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