Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
