A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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