just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
