found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
