I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
