There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
