i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
