So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
