fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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