If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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