Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
