I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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