I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
