I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
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I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
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I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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