She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
