i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
