I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16