i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.