bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
