You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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