Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
