There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
