New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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