walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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