i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
