Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
