Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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