Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
