ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
