I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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