We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
