weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
God I need to hump something, right now.
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