the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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