Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so explain again why im purple
no
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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