Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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