@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
