I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
