so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
