Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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