Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
