no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
