drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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