please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
