she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
