it wasn't lemon gatorade
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
