i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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