Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
only if we run a train.
done.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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