Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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