I smell stomach acid.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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