If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
