uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
