Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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