Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
