____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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