Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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