do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
