I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
