Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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