My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
